Why self-pleasure is key to your happiness and vitality for life
- by Kerry O'Sullivan
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- 06 Jan, 2019
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So this weekend I
attended a course which was all about self-pleasure and orgasmic empowerment
and it opened me up to a whole new realm and was another new experience for me.
In my life, I’ve had
a lot of pleasure from others, through food, through music, through spending
time with those I love but never from myself, well not to be a point of
fulfilment anyway and I always knew it as an area that I was due to explore.
I remember the first
time I touched myself and realised that it felt nice to do that to myself. I
remember it so well, I was in the bath, no idea what age I was but I know that
I felt so naughty and almost ashamed that I was doing it, I told myself
that it was wrong and then I never did it again.
I remember speaking
with a friend and she mentioned that she couldn't wait to get home to self-pleasure.
I told her I didn't do it and she nearly fell off her chair, what do you mean
she said, you don't touch yourself? I then felt ashamed that I didn't.
In my twenties, I got
myself a rabbit (one of the famous vibrators at the time) at an Ann Summers
party, I remember when it arrived thinking what the hell do I do with that, I
was mortified. I used it with my partner and never on my own.
When my marriage broke
up, I tried again but my mind just wouldn't shut up...now it was ah what a
shame you have to do it on your own, why are you so desperate for an orgasm,
should you be doing this Kerry. I stopped trying.
Then last year when I
discovered Tantra, I realised it was an area that I was still avoiding and if I
now really loved myself, why wasn't this part of my life. Whenever I tried to self-pleasure,
I could never do without some other kind of other stimulus...using toys,
watching porn or being watched. There is nothing wrong with that but I knew
then I was in my head or I was trying to get to a goal, to release the
frustration I felt or to meet the yearning that I felt deep inside my yoni and
after I orgasmed, I was still left unfulfilled.
When I saw the course,
I knew that it was for me, this is what I have be looking for, to be empowered
by my own orgasmic vitality. We all have the tools to do this and it seems
absolutely crazy to me that this is not something that is embedded into us.
Well it is for some of us, I'm sure but I also know we are a nation of self-critics
and to touch ourselves, to love our bodies can sometimes bring up shame, guilt,
embarrassment and even disgust, I have felt all those things but this weekend I
felt so beautiful. My body felt so amazing, I felt sexy, I felt vibrant and I
felt alive.
Yesterday, I felt my
G spot and my cervix for the first time. In my work, I have felt other women’s
but never my own. I explored them and I gave them love and they thanked me. Did
you know that your yoni has a voice of it's own, I would really invite you to
try and listen to it. It really does tell you when it’s happy or also when it's
not.
I wrote this afterwards:
I felt my G Spot for
the first time and it felt aroused and bigger then I imagined
I felt the beauty of
it, in all its forms, the beautiful ridges, felt its energy, felt it pulsate
and felt the life force within it
My yoni enjoyed it
and the peacefulness inside, like the sunshine has just popped from behind the
clouds
I felt the waves of
relaxation as my body softened. I felt my yoni expand, felt its opening. It
thanked me for taking my time, for being gentle and acknowledging how it wanted
to be touched
Wow how beautiful to
have met myself like this for the first time, I felt alive but this feels so
different, slower and softer like a rose bud just beginning to open
Today we discussed
the importance of breath, sound, movement and visualisation...our mind and
bodies are super powerful and I found myself in orgasmic states just using sound,
I think I could actually make myself orgasm with my voice alone.
We did another guided
self-pleasure practice today and the space was held so beautifully, I felt
myself surrender and I feel so proud of myself. I moved and rocked my pelvis, I let myself
say what I wanted to say, I never held back,
It wasn't about reaching orgasm, it was about experiencing pleasure. I
loved how it made me feel. I felt so
liberated and my whole body was pulsating with pleasure
I wrote this after we had finished:
Wow I did that all by myself, I found my own pleasure with my fingers and I have felt that fulfilment within me.
To just enjoy touch, to really listen, to expand my throat and voice
and say what I wanted to say. I pleasured myself and was not in my head but in
my body
My body is beautiful
My energy is mine
I have all I need within me
I am a butterfly and I am free
Free from myself and any of the expectations I have always put on myself
I'm flying higher and
find myself on another level once again
Kerry you are truly
amazing, I love you
I can't believe I am
saying these things about myself, this is a huge shift in me and it still bring
ups feeling of, can I really say this stuff out loud, but I know this is my truth
and part of my journey
As beings, we spend so
much time rushing around, what if we made self-pleasure one of our priorities
like eating, drinking and brushing our teeth. It's been a part of my life for a
couple of years now but not like this and I'm so excited now to experiment with
all what I have learned this weekend, I have it all within me, it just needs to
be tapped into and awakened.
My world has already
been expanded to new levels from tapping into my sexual energy and there are
still areas that I know I want to explore but imagine how much more I can
manifest if I made it part of my world every day. And it doesn't necessarily mean intimate
pleasure either, pleasure is a huge area and first you have to identify what
pleasure actually means for you?
I have so much to
share and part of my mission is to empower others to truly love themselves and
the first step is to understand what's getting in the way of them letting that resistance
go. I would love a world where everyone
is empowered to love who they are, every part of them, what a wonderful world
that would be, based on the foundation of self-love and orgasmic vitality.
I chose this life, who would like to join me?
I’d woken up my sexual energy and been on a crazy journey exploring this but I knew I was holding back in my own pleasure, I was afraid of my power, of what was possible within me
Like with all week-long containers I attend, it was edgy and I’d had a banging headache that wouldn’t budge and was driving me crazy.
I did an embodiment practice connecting to my energy body and moving energy through, I started to shake, my head started to move frantically from side to side and I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO
I could see it so clearly, I was being held down and I was being raped, all I could see were faces flashing up in my eyes as I moved the trauma through my body
I’d experienced something like this before in my own journey but I knew this wasn’t mine
Then all of a sudden, I felt my back arch and I rose from my body and saw myself connecting into the light, to consciousness
I remember feeling this sense of peace all over my body as I felt the light beam in to me
Then I came back to the room, I couldn’t really make sense of what happened and it took a while for me to feel fully in my body - I wasn’t really back for some time
That night, I couldn’t sleep and as I tossed and turned, I felt a presence in the room, I thought I must be dreaming and then I was told very clearly
This isn’t just about you
It’s for the women that never had a voice
All those that came before you
That never had the power to heal from their trauma and the times their No wasn’t heard
You are doing it for them too
On the days where I want to run away
I remind myself of this day
I remind myself of the power I have to heal myself and the collective, both here and those that have past
Sometimes it feels like a huge responsibility but it’s why I show up
It’s always bigger then you … always
It took me a while to integrate what happened in Goa, it was the first time, I realized that I was part of something greater than me and I’m sharing with you because I want you to know that too
To be Continued….
She used to share with me the stories of her own spiritual journey and that I had guides and angels watching over me
I used to raise my eyebrows and honestly thought she was a bit doolally
I knew before I arrived in the world that my mum had experienced some miscarriages, she remembers the night I was conceived so clearly
She felt herself rise from the bed, seeing herself below, she felt the hand of something on her shoulder but she was too scared to look around.
The voice told her not to worry and that everything would be ok now
She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later
Another story she shared was when she was 8 months pregnant, whilst making dinner, she slipped on some water in the kitchen and as she fell, she grabbed the oven and as it fell towards her, the pan of boiling potatoes slid to the back of oven
Another time, at the traffic lights whilst taking me to school, the lights turned red and just as she was about to cross, a voice told her to pull me back, just as a motorbike sped through the red light
So many things like this happened in my childhood and my mum said she always knew I’d be a spiritual soul and my angels were always looking out for me
I never understood or wanted to accept that I was spiritual until the last few years, I think it really began when I experienced my own out-of-body experience
This happened in 2020 during a retreat in Goa and it was an experience that I will never forget and it was the catalyst for a HUGE ascension into the spiritual world.
To be Continued…
I had so many messages to share, that I definitely wasn’t present at Mark’s friend’s party and spent most of the time on the phone
In the past, I always told myself that mediums and psychics were con artists and that they never really knew anything, they just picked up on things you said
On that day, I purposely tried to say nothing but it didn’t matter because everything she was saying didn’t make sense to me
But after, when I delivered the messages, it made more sense
I just kept saying OMG, this must be true
You cannot deny this Kerry
This isn’t something she made up
OMG, There must be a life after this one
I always thought how can there be a god if so many people I loved were taken so young
But in that moment I realised there maybe there was more after this life, that the spirits and angels my mums always told me about did exist
This was just over 6 years ago…
I thought that was the start of my deepest spiritual journey, turns out it started the night I was conceived
To be continued… there is so much more to come
