by Kerry O'Sullivan 
 • 
 22 September 2022 
 
 My journey to Goa was at the beginning of the world going crazy and after cancelled planes and mayhem, I arrived late for my journey to master my pleasure                                                                     I’d woken up my sexual energy and been on a crazy journey exploring this but I knew I was holding back in my own pleasure, I was afraid of my power, of what was possible within me                                                                     Like with all week-long containers I attend, it was edgy and I’d had a banging headache that wouldn’t budge and was driving me crazy.                                                                     I did an embodiment practice connecting to my energy body and moving energy through, I started to shake, my head started to move frantically from side to side and I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO                                                                     I could see it so clearly, I was being held down and I was being raped, all I could see were faces flashing up in my eyes as I moved the trauma through my body                                                                     I’d experienced something like this before in my own journey but I knew this wasn’t mine                                                                     Then all of a sudden, I felt my back arch and I rose from my body and saw myself connecting into the light, to consciousness                                                                     I remember feeling this sense of peace all over my body as I felt the light beam in to me                                                                     Then I came back to the room, I couldn’t really make sense of what happened and it took a while for me to feel fully in my body - I wasn’t really back for some time                                                                     That night, I couldn’t sleep and as I tossed and turned, I felt a presence in the room, I thought I must be dreaming and then I was told very clearly                                                                     This isn’t just about you                                                                     It’s for the women that never had a voice                                                                     All those that came before you                                                                     That never had the power to heal from their trauma and the times their No wasn’t heard                                                                     You are doing it for them too                                                                     On the days where I want to run away                                                                     I remind myself of this day                                                                     I remind myself of the power I have to heal myself and the collective, both here and those that have past                                                                     Sometimes it feels like a huge responsibility but it’s why I show up                                                                     It’s always bigger then you … always                                                                     It took me a while to integrate what happened in Goa, it was the first time, I realized that I was part of something greater than me and I’m sharing with you because I want you to know that too                                                                     To be Continued….