A day of conscious sensual kink

  • by Kerry O'Sullivan
  • •
  • 02 Jun, 2019
  • •

Sensual conscious kink – I didn’t really know what that really meant, I knew about BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism - think fifty shades if you don’t know what that means) and I have dabbled in this. The combination of sensual and kink is a perfect match for me and after a day full of so much thought and so much desire and fulfilment, I feel blessed to have experienced it

One of the questions I was asked today is how do I want to be touched? I am normally ok with this question in one of my Tantra workshops but in this setting there was so much to explore….so much depth and so many ideas.

I have experienced quite a few toys and types of kinky touch in the bedroom with mark but never in this intimate setting where I had so much choice to explore the depths and edges of myself

Over lunch, I was feeling a little impatient and eagerly waiting for more experience but I was also in deep reflection about my life at home and how much I love it and how much I love Mark and the journey we are on together, it’s so much softer and we are so considerate of each other now.

I always get asked, how does he let you do this stuff on your own? Is he ok with it?

The real truth is, he is and we talk about everything from both of our perspectives. I remember this time last year, I never considered mark as much as I do now, it was all about me and the craziness I was feeling inside. It’s now about us both, we really consider each other and we really listen, we communicate and we hear each other.

So back to today, I am most definitely outside my comfort zone but I am intrigued, excited and feel very connected to myself. So I decided I would be happiest going last so I could really learn from others and feel into it a bit more.

The thing is I have had so many ideas in my head about scenes I would love to play out, fantasies and dreams but the thought of it being a reality is something else

Being in a giving role is a default for me and I loved being able to explore a more dominant side of myself, definitely like the idea of exploring that further in the world of kink. I have always been quite dominant in character but also quite enjoy being in more submissive role, think it all depends on what mood I am in really and that’s the joy of really knowing yourself and how you are in that moment and also know this can change too.

So now it was my turn, I felt like I had waited forever for this moment. I knew exactly what I wanted but I was scared to communicate it at first, I suppose it was fear of judgement, fear of them thinking ‘blimey, she wants that?!’

First I had to have a word with myself though as I was so nervous but I knew this was the ideal space for me to try this and it was ok if I didn’t like it and could stop it at any time. I was in complete control here and once I had communicated it, I felt so empowered, I had visualised this picture of myself and here I was asking for it.

The beautiful beings I worked with were amazing. They were so present, they really met me and did exactly what I wanted, said the words I wanted to hear. The space was wonderfully held and I knew I could explore all the edges of this experience.

I experienced pain, so much pleasure and I was awakened through all of myself, it was exhilarating, pulsating every part of me, I was alive, I was met with everything I desired and I felt euphoric.

Wow, wow, wow, how did all that happen in 15 minutes

Afterwards, I asked for some space to I can really feel the ripples of that pleasure through me and space to accept what came. I then asked to be held and feel the warmth of the people that had given me everything I desired

My first experience of conscious sensual kink and it has opened up another dimension of my journey and I just can’t wait to explore more.

I am now sitting on the grass outside a beautiful church, the energy here is so powerful, I feel so enriched and so blessed with all I am experiencing now.

I am really yearning for my mark though, I just want to snog his face off and might even ask him to spank me when I get home…. ha-ha, now there’s a nice thought!

On my way home, I listened to the radio– the first two songs were perfect for the way I was feeling, first the pointer sisters…. I felt every word and sang my heart out

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll put all other things aside
Give in this time and show me some affection
We're goin' for those pleasures in the night
I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you
I want to squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want you

And then Lisa Stansfield Change came on which made me cry with happiness

If I could change the way I live my life today
I wouldn't change a single thing
'Cause if I changed my world into another place
I wouldn't see your smiling face

Absolutely perfect songs for how I was feeling in that moment

I really wouldn't change a thing

I’m now home, with my beautiful family with a new sense of fulfilment and enriched beyond even the words I have expressed here.

I've had a mixed response from my latest post

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 5 November 2022
I’ve had a mixed response from my latest post and I get it

If you’ve never heard of ‘energy work’ then you might think it’s unrealistic and not possible for the body to heal itself

I never knew there was another way

The example I shared is one example … there are many many others

This conversation is a big one

There is so much conditioning around illness

Most of us do what we are told

Follow the process that the medical team tell you

There is nothing wrong with that

You do you

I’ve never really done as I’m told

I’ve never really followed the ‘norm’

I’m a bit outside the box

And I always will be

Connecting more deeply with my truth and my body has changed everything

My body leads the way now

And I’m so thankful for this

The Doctors told me there was nothing they could do

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 4 November 2022
I sat there on the bed and the doctor told me there was nothing he could do

It was incurable and was something that I had to learn to live with

But it's a condition that would only get worse over time and the only way to stop it is to have a hysterectomy

That there were support groups that could help me

I was diagnosed with Adenomyosis - a rare condition of the uterus that was super painful and made me bleed

I left feeling quite distressed and off I popped and joined a few support groups

Within a couple of days, I realised they were not for me, I didn't want this label and I didn't want it to be something that defined me

I knew it had to be energetic so I started to explore this

It was the midst of the memories of my sexual trauma coming back

Memories that had buried in my body for over 20 years

My uterus was reacting to the shame and the violation of my boundaries that I was processing and it made sense to me

I did the energy work and I continued to feel the emotions that were alive in me

No more suppression, no more shutting myself down

Feeling feeling feeling

Investing in myself and my healing journey

Six weeks later I went back for my check-up

I sat back on the bed for another internal scan

The doctor looked confused

He kept looking at the monitor

Then back at my notes

Then back at the monitor

And then he looked at me

It's gone he said looking surprised

It's gone

I said oh I know I've been doing so much energy work

Huh?

I tried to explain but I get it's not something that's really considered in the medical world

The thing is I truly believe and know from my own experiences (and this is one of many that I will share)

Is that conditions of the body are when the body is in dis ease

I believe that all conditions are linked to deep rooted trauma or suppressed emotion that is then trapped in the body
Which causes the disease

The body is communicating with you all the time and these signs are often ignored or masked/managed in some way, which can often feel like you are going around in circles

I have energetically cleared incurable conditions from myself

My clients have been set free from conditions they thought they had to live with forever

It's energy

And when you trust in your body's ability to heal itself anything is possible

The first step is to believe it can happen

If you have a long-term health condition or your body is in dis ease and are ready to explore another powerful way to heal the body, Jget in touch and I can tell you how I can work with you purely 121 or in my new 6-month journey

Big Love Beautiful Souls xx

✨ ✨  I'm coming out - Part 5 ✨ ✨  

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 22 October 2022
In the last two years , I’ve had three people transition through me after they’ve died

I embodied the pain they’ve felt in this life so they can heal and be free to move into the light and it’s been the most overwhelming experiences of my life

I know this may sound crazy to some of you, I’m still getting my head round it, it blows my mind some days

When I’ve been in it, it’s taken over my body, I’ve screamed cried, spoken in their voices, been sick and been in bed for days

These are emotions that were squashed so fucking deep that they dared to tell a soul

The pain they never wanted to feel which caused Dis ease in the body and made them sick

Or pain that felt to much they took their own life because it was unbearable

I’ve been asking what does this have to do with my purpose here on this Planet?

It’s becoming clearer by the day

Too many of us are getting sick because of the emotions we are not expressing

Because of our deepest truths that we dare to admit

I don’t want you to bury the stuff that hurts because you think you can’t be free from it

What makes me so powerful, is I see what you can’t see

I see and the feel the pain that you can’t face on your own

I hold your hand and I show you how

I can hold you in whatever needs to be expressed

This is why I am here

What I do isn’t sexy but I work with sexual energy which is your life force energy, it’s what brought you into the world and keeps you alive and has so much potency to take you to another dimension

I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, It’s fucking hard but I promise you it will move with ease when you give it permission too
most people never go there

But it never goes, even in death

One day you’ll heal it so why wait?

And live your life embodying the truth of who you are and why you are here

If you are ready and this speaks to your soul

Know that I’m here for it all

I’m fucking powerful and I am here to show you how to really step into the person you were born to be

Last week, in the midst of lovemaking, I asked for it to stop...

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 21 October 2022
Last week, in the midst of lovemaking, I asked for it to stop

For Mark to stop touching me

It took me a while to find the words

In the minutes before that I was feeling really confused

I had gone from being deep in pleasure with my man

To being taken back to a time in my life when I was being abused

But that was pleasurable too

So much shame was arising in me

To acknowledge that my abuser was giving me pleasure

I knew something didn’t feel right, I wasn’t allowed to speak

I was confused how something could feel good but also feel so scary

I cried for my little girl that had no idea she was being taken advantage of

She thought that was love

And she craved love so much, to be noticed

I cried for my body that had held on to this shame for so many years

I cried because I knew something wasn’t right

I asked Mark to hold me and tell me I was safe

I know what I need now

I surrender into what the body is asking for

The body is so powerful and knows exactly what it needs, if you listen

I squashed down these feelings so often in my life

So many times in the past, I told that part of me to be quiet

I thought that silencing myself was healing me

Because the thought of feeling the pain felt too much

My little girl isn’t silenced anymore

I give her space to speak

I let her process whatever she wants

Even if it’s not at the most 'convenient' times

It’s when she is ready

My little girl is sending love to your little girl

I see you

I feel you

I love you

I'm holding you close

The Embodiment of my truth hasn't been easy

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 19 October 2022
The Embodiment of my truth hasn't been easy, It continues to shake me to my core

It’s taken me to depths of myself that I never knew

I've wished that I was numb again

Yet I’ve also celebrated being awakened and feeling all of me

I've hurt those I love

But knew I had to follow what is true

I'm done with being the person that others say I should be

I'm done with fitting the mould

I'm done with just making do

I am here to embody my truth

And live the life that I was born too

Will this be painful and messy? YES

Will it be pleasurable? FUCK YES

Will it make me feel ALIVE and make the most of every fucking day on this planet? YES YES YES

Embodying your truth is a choice

It’s not for everyone

Some choose to run from the truth

And others choose to lean in and discover more of themselves

If you are done playing small and ready to dance with power and light that is beyond the comprehension of what you know now

Email me, my new 6-month container may just be what you are looking for

Not sure if you realised but I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 12 October 2022
Not sure if you realised but I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

To lift the vibration of this planet to another level!

This week I came back fully into my body again … I’ve been in a fog for a while but now I know why..

I had to rest

Because my fucking goodness do I have some magical work to do

I have been in labour all week - birthing soooo much through my being

I can feel the shift

It’s pulsating through every cell of my body

Can you see how excited I am?!

Watch this space beauties - did I mention I’m a woman on a mission to change the fucking world?

My Big 3am Wake Up!

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 9 October 2022
One of the biggest AHAS that I’ve had since my 3am wake up is:

GET YOUR BUTT ON MORE STAGES! YOU WERE BORN FOR IT!!

I LOVE to take beautiful beings on a journey

To get out of the head and let go of what they think they should be doing and instead

To let the BODY lead the way and

EMBODY what is alive in them even if it feels uncomfortable

That is where the MAGIC is

To step into their POWER of who they are really are

To LIVE In TRUTH - unapologetically

I love to do this LIVE and I’m on a mission to get on more stages this year because my goodness do I give a good show

So whether it’s running a rage ritual, $exual energy activation or a power ritual

Part of my MAGIC is I know what people need to hear, I don’t need to prep, I FEEL it

I’m BORN for the stage darlings, BORN FOR IT and the people that experience my magic

Will NEVER forget me and it will change their life forever

I would love you to hit me up with any organisers or stages you think may LOVE some of the magic darlings

Pic  is me at latitude … my goodness that was a powerful weekend of adapting to a new audience but they were blown away!

✨ ✨  I'm coming out - Part 4 ✨ ✨ 

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 22 September 2022
My journey to Goa was at the beginning of the world going crazy and after cancelled planes and mayhem, I arrived late for my journey to master my pleasure

I’d woken up my sexual energy and been on a crazy journey exploring this but I knew I was holding back in my own pleasure, I was afraid of my power, of what was possible within me

Like with all week-long containers I attend, it was edgy and I’d had a banging headache that wouldn’t budge and was driving me crazy.

I did an embodiment practice connecting to my energy body and moving energy through, I started to shake, my head started to move frantically from side to side and I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I could see it so clearly, I was being held down and I was being raped, all I could see were faces flashing up in my eyes as I moved the trauma through my body

I’d experienced something like this before in my own journey but I knew this wasn’t mine

Then all of a sudden, I felt my back arch and I rose from my body and saw myself connecting into the light, to consciousness

I remember feeling this sense of peace all over my body as I felt the light beam in to me

Then I came back to the room, I couldn’t really make sense of what happened and it took a while for me to feel fully in my body - I wasn’t really back for some time

That night, I couldn’t sleep and as I tossed and turned, I felt a presence in the room, I thought I must be dreaming and then I was told very clearly

This isn’t just about you

It’s for the women that never had a voice

All those that came before you

That never had the power to heal from their trauma and the times their No wasn’t heard

You are doing it for them too

On the days where I want to run away

I remind myself of this day

I remind myself of the power I have to heal myself and the collective, both here and those that have past

Sometimes it feels like a huge responsibility but it’s why I show up

It’s always bigger then you … always

It took me a while to integrate what happened in Goa, it was the first time, I realized that I was part of something greater than me and I’m sharing with you because I want you to know that too

To be Continued….

✨✨ I'm coming out - Part 3 ✨✨

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 14 September 2022
When I was little, my mum used to tell me a lot that I was special

She used to share with me the stories of her own spiritual journey and that I had guides and angels watching over me

I used to raise my eyebrows and honestly thought she was a bit doolally

I knew before I arrived in the world that my mum had experienced some miscarriages, she remembers the night I was conceived so clearly

She felt herself rise from the bed, seeing herself below, she felt the hand of something on her shoulder but she was too scared to look around.

The voice told her not to worry and that everything would be ok now

She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later

Another story she shared was when she was 8 months pregnant, whilst making dinner, she slipped on some water in the kitchen and as she fell, she grabbed the oven and as it fell towards her, the pan of boiling potatoes slid to the back of oven

Another time, at the traffic lights whilst taking me to school, the lights turned red and just as she was about to cross, a voice told her to pull me back, just as a motorbike sped through the red light

So many things like this happened in my childhood and my mum said she always knew I’d be a spiritual soul and my angels were always looking out for me

I never understood or wanted to accept that I was spiritual until the last few years, I think it really began when I experienced my own out-of-body experience

This happened in 2020 during a retreat in Goa and it was an experience that I will never forget and it was the catalyst for a HUGE ascension into the spiritual world.

To be Continued…

✨ ✨ I'm coming out - Part 2 ✨ ✨ 

by Kerry O'Sullivan • 5 September 2022
The hours that followed the spiritualist church were a whirlwind

I had so many messages to share, that I definitely wasn’t present at Mark’s friend’s party and spent most of the time on the phone

In the past, I always told myself that mediums and psychics were con artists and that they never really knew anything, they just picked up on things you said

On that day, I purposely tried to say nothing but it didn’t matter because everything she was saying didn’t make sense to me

But after, when I delivered the messages, it made more sense

I just kept saying OMG, this must be true

You cannot deny this Kerry

This isn’t something she made up

OMG, There must be a life after this one

I always thought how can there be a god if so many people I loved were taken so young

But in that moment I realised there maybe there was more after this life, that the spirits and angels my mums always told me about did exist

This was just over 6 years ago…

I thought that was the start of my deepest spiritual journey, turns out it started the night I was conceived

To be continued… there is so much more to come
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